Men who ask for advice on how to pick up women usually get two opposite answers, depending on whom they ask. If they ask their charismatic, popular friends they find out that flirting is really easy and all they have to do is be themselves and smile. If they go on the Internet and try to find out how to attract girls, they get complicated methods that involve dozens of steps and careful planning. If you have ever found yourself between these two extremes and, all confused, you gave up your dream girl, don’t worry, you are not alone. Contrary to common social belief, men also find it difficult to approach women, not only the other way around. There are many tips that go around, some classic, some rather crazy, but what is the truth? What works and what doesn’t?


If you are wondering how to approach a girl you like, you should know that it all starts with yourself. Before putting yourself out there, you have to work on your self confidence, feel good in your own skin and feel comfortable around other people. It is not excluded for women to be attracted by shy guys, but, in general, they are more likely to flirt back and socialize when you believe in yourself and look in control. That doesn’t mean that you have to be pushy or insistent. On the contrary, you should be polite and respectful. Start by managing your inner self, understanding your strengths and weaknesses and keeping your insecurities under control. Even the most attractive men are insecure sometimes, but it’s all about overcoming fears and taking chances. Sometimes, looking your best helps at boosting your confidence, so invest in a classy wardrobe. However, remember that clothes are only a small part of who you are and you should not rely just on your appearance to get someone.


Having an open, positive and friendly attitude is key in keeping a girl interested. Show her that you are interested in her and that you want to know more about the things she likes and dislikes. Needless to say, a gentleman should never rely on popular pickup lines which, funny as they might sound, they only make women roll their eyes. The truth is that if you want to be taken seriously you need to act like a responsible and confident adult. Don’t go for default flirting tricks because they are hit or miss. Adapt yourself to the situation and treat each girl as an individual. All this can seem a bit overwhelming if you suffer from social anxiety or approach anxiety, so take things slow until you feel comfortable enough. Do not give up and lose hope if you are rejected, because it can happen to anyone and it’s a normal part of social interaction.


If you are more of a visual learner, you could look at instructive videos, such as the ones at Pickup Change. If you could find a personal coach to offer you personalized advice it would be even better, because this way you could also ask questions and overcome the challenges that drag you down.